“Ingratitude is treason to mankind.” James Thomson
Tuesday 16 February 2010
Things I really should try not to do anymore.
Making and eating huge quantities of cookies. (Uh, well...too late to start this today. Maybe tomorrow.) Spending so much time at home that the dogs become very clingy. The boy dog has taken recently to staging dirty protests when I go out. Bricking myself up in my own little space. Drinking so much strong tea that my heart races all day. Adding saved eBay searches. Buying things, especially anything chair- or footstool-shaped or meant to hang on a wall. There are no more walls left. There is no more floor. Dwelling on shame and regret when I should be going to sleep. Also, lying in bed at night thinking about death. Avoiding a haircut for six months at a time. Expressing myself so baldly at the expense of kindness. This originated as a way to stop lying/misrepresenting myself, but I think now it's safe to take a less hard line on total honesty. (As if there was ever anything such as total honesty anyway.) Making everything such hard work because I feel guilty. Taking all the fun out of fun things.
Leaving the telly remote on the sofa where the dogs sleep at night. I awakened early to find the dogs watching HSN. This has happened before, many years ago when I came home to find the girl dog watching Wimbledon at full volume. And she knows how I feel about tennis.
On the other hand, I might make these tomorrow and they're making me pretty happy. Maybe things are turning around.