Ingratitude! thou marble-hearted fiend...

“Ingratitude is treason to mankind.” James Thomson

Wednesday 10 March 2010

Recipe Wednesdays. No, it's not alliterative.

Alliteration is a useful tool I'm sure, but I have bad memories of the time I was stuck in the airport in Corsica and had read all my holiday books by the second day and could not find any reading material in English anywhere. I think I then re-read all my holiday books. By the end of the two weeks I was desperate so I bought a Glamour magazine (one of two English-language publications on sale in the airport and I didn't fancy The Sun) and lost the will to live among the articles on Seventeen Sexy Strappy Summer Sandals and Some Sensational Secret Sexy Sex Secrets for a Spicy Soupy Spatula whatever please make it stop. We are women for fuck's sake. This is not Sesame Street.

Then we boarded the plane - FINALLY - and someone slipped on the stairs and gashed their leg open and the fire brigade had to be called from, oh, only the other side of the runway, fire truck and everything, to patch her up and we had to wait some more on the tarmac in the heat. The best part (I mean, this happened over ten years ago and I remember it word for word) was when this posh family behind me in the queue were tutting and hmphing over the delay (I think it was three hours. For a charter. So isn't that kind of normal?) and one of the little kids said to his dad (imagine squeaky posh English boarding school child voice) "Daddy, I think you should write a jolly angry letter to the holiday company for ruining our whole holiday with this terrible delay." Congratulations sir on your child's extremely advanced grasp of snivelling Tory entitlement!

Anyway, instead of Foodie Fridays or Munchie Mondays or whatever, it is Wednesday and I feel like passing along a recipe. So.

I eat eggs. I love a poached egg for breakfast. But, hey, did you know that the male chicks get thrown alive into a macerator? (Thanks for that Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall.) Not so delicious. So, though I find it difficult to completely cut eggs out of my diet, I find this distasteful enough to want to minimise my intake. That and the family history of high cholesterol, hypertension, dementia and stroke.

This recipe got me started (thanks rsarahl), but I made adjustments. These quantities will feed two people. I prefer the aluminium-free baking powder because it has a nicer taste and you don't have to be so careful about using tiny amounts when you are using heavy ingredients like bananas and wholemeal flour. I use spelt in this recipe, but you are welcome to knock yourself out in whichever way you choose.

**Special note about this being a vegan recipe: I am aware that this sounds spartan and hairshirt and worthy, but I urge you to try it - even if you quite like the idea of macerated chicks - because it is dead good and I think the finished texture is even better than my usual non-vegan efforts. **

Easy Hypocrite Veganish Banana Pancakes*

1 cup flour
1.5 tsp baking powder
1 cup soy milk
big pinch salt
1-2 banana(s)
oil for cooking
maple syrup or something sweet (jam or honey or something) for serving

Throw it all together and mash with a fork or potato masher. Heat oil (I use olive oil but whatever you like will do) and add batter. Tilt pan to distribute and flip when you see the bubbles. (I mean turn the pancake. Don't go mental; the bubbles are supposed to happen.)
If you are me, and/or aren't vegan, butter the pancakes, but use the organic kind cos it's nicer to the cows. Then add syrup and eat.

*Just call me an easy hypocrite!


  1. You are developing an original voice in your posts- funny, critical, insightful, self-effacing and even informative!

    Could you make the pancakes with milk instead? Apparently, soy doesn't mix well with my Valley of the Dolls thingies.


  2. What, your false eyelashes? Just kidding!

    Try rice milk or oat milk. Or of course you can use dairy milk if you prefer. Actually the original recipe says you can substitiute water but if you did I'd suggest adding some fat (just a little oil) to the batter or don't skimp on the fat in the pan. With no fat at all they could turn out a little tough.

    Thank you for your kind comment. I like to think of myself as a one-woman infotainer.

  3. You know what would be awesome in those pancakes? BACON.

  4. OMG. Maybe I should read the entire post before commenting. Poor chicklets. :(

  5. Oh Sarah, I don't know which of those comments was funnier.

    I hope that's FREE RANGE bacon missy!

    I am very adept at fooling myself with the free range loveliness, as though if you are sing to the animals and stroke them and braid their hair then the bacon is okay. I'm very conflicted. Cos I love the bacon.