Ingratitude! thou marble-hearted fiend...

“Ingratitude is treason to mankind.” James Thomson

Thursday 24 June 2010

She's a lady.

I had my second appointment with the fancy Harley Street endodontist this afternoon and managed to fart around all morning until the last possible minute, fly in and out of the shower and dress in clothes that were ripped (top), too short (both top and bottom) and too low (bottom)/too high (top) to cover my big lacy pants. Score!

(The Harley Street demographic is odd. There are a lot of high heels and augmented body parts. And also double-breasted Colonel and Mrs Colonel types, and a smattering of old couples dragging small, wheeled suitcases.)

Anyway, in the post-appointment anaesthetic haze, I tottered into Jaeger and tried on everything in their sale. I'm fed up of being hot and scruffy and never looking like a proper adult, like one of those women on What Not to Wear who buys all her clothes in charity shops.* I usually think I'm rocking an edgy vintage  look but who's to say I don't look like I get my clothes out of black plastic bags before going to Paddington Station for a wash? That's the kind of day I was having. (Also, my face was too numb to eat anything, so I was also kind of drunk on low blood sugar. Will I never learn to show up early and eat lunch immediately before a dentist appointment?) So I had a wobbly, blurry, short-tempered shopping experience.

This is in contrast to yesterday, when I was totally on my housewifely game and managed to get to the auction to attempt to load a chest of drawers into my car (which, it turns out was not the correct dimensions),** shop for a huge quantity of food, get the car petrolled up, arrive home in time for the actual chest of drawers delivery, clean the fridge, put all the groceries away, bake bread, wash and hang out bedding, and cook five - five - Indian dishes for dinner (thank you Madhur Jaffrey), all by mid-afternoon. I felt like superwoman. Also, I was relatively well turned out (clean and dressed anyway) and made up, which deserves extra points I feel.

And to change the subject completely, who's going to esplain me Twitter please? I don't really understand it. I've had an account for ages and it sits in its little electronic room, silently following Dooce,*** making no impact on the world. I am mystified by the various social media/microblogging options.****

And who is reading this in Greenford?? We're practically neighbours! Leave a comment. Seriously. Comments: I need 'em.

* As we all know, there are charity shops and charity shops.
** Sorry auction porter guys who dragged it out and lifted it into the car in the heat to find it wouldn't go. 
*** When I signed up and was testing it out, she was the only person who came to mind.
**** Get me, using the word "microblogging" in a sentence.


  1. sadly, i do not live in greenford. too bad, as i suspect you might be fun to go out for drinks with. especially in today's sexy ensemble. rawr.

    twitter - i tried but failed. really. i went to john cleese's twitter feed and found it dull. thus i concluded that if john cleese can be boring on twitter, there's no hope for the medium in my eyes. the end.

  2. Polish Chick, I am so pleased I'm not the only one. And your argument is very credible, except that I expect everyone to be boring most of the time.
    I could be swayed toward trying it if I understood it better, especially the being the Twitterer rather than the Twiteree. How does that work? What criteria does one apply to filter out some of the rubbish, or is there no filter?

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  4. I don't live near you but my granny used to live on Harley Terrace in Newcastle, which is nowhere near you, but Harley is the same. Sorta. I am not good at Twitter. I think it's for ADD people. But we could suck at it together. Am I already following you? May I?

  5. i have NO idea how to none. and i have no desire to. i like to look at it as being charmingly old fashioned rather than depressingly behind the times. it's all in the outlook, baby!

  6. Tara, I think having a follower might make me feel much more glamorous than just tweeting into the ether. I'm outrightingrate there too. Ooh, it would also help if I were allowed to treat it like CB radio and call my name my "handle."

    Amen, Polish Chick.

  7. Dear Punctured Bicycle,

    I think we have established that rocking edgy vintage is the very best way to dress. It is cheaper and more fun - power to you (and me, by unkempt association).

    Ok. Now I am going to teach you all about the joyous thing that is Twitter.

    Tweeting is like a lively, interactive comments page. It is like poking your nose into a room full of funny, brainy people and flitting from each conversation to the next. You need to do these things:

    1. Download Tweetdeck. It means you can 'see' what is going on much more clearly
    2. start with your most fun bloggers. follow them, then go see who they follow.
    3. When you think funny/profound/enraging/intelligent thoughts, tweet them instead. People will be wondering who has followed them, and will look at your profile and if you are at all engaging, they will follow you. then you can have a two way tweeting conversation with them. Or, lots of people may join in.

    If you like blogging, you will like tweeting.

    Tutorial over.
    [Was I awesome?]

  8. Finally, someone steps up for Twitter! I thought I was hopelessly behind the times and it turns out other people don't get it either, which to be honest kind of challenges my image of myself as an outsider.

    Thanks Harridan for being completely and utterly awesome.