Ingratitude! thou marble-hearted fiend...

“Ingratitude is treason to mankind.” James Thomson

Tuesday 4 January 2011


Okay, that's it. Enough alfuckingready. I'm declaring war on fatigue, and sleeplessness and the pervasive condition of being so tired as to be completely inactive all day and then lying in bed at night unable to drop off. Regardless of how I sleep, I have to get up with the dogs once or twice in the very early morning. Then when the day starts a bit later I am hallucinating with exhaustion as I did this morning when I could see trippy iridescent colours radiating from what looked like a magic feather on the floor but turned out to be a small, torn piece of green plastic.

All the unpleasant fallout from this schedule? It must end. I am throwing down the gauntlet.

(Out of the blue and apropos of nothing except the title of this post, I was thinking earlier today about the women's studies professor I had in college who advised me to read some book about archetypes because I was so angry and maybe I would gain some insight about myself via the archetype of the woman warrior. I really liked her and wanted her approval, so I read it, but just ended up feeling confused and a little hurt. That was a long time ago when I was a tender young lass; now that I'm old and bitter, I feel confident that if you are a feminist and you aren't angry ur doin it rong.

There's your insight right there.)

Let battle commence with valerian tea. (Officially the lamest hippie trash talk ever. By the bye, did you see the episode of The Sopranos where valerian tea was revealed to be a gateway drug? If you don't hear from me for a few days, I'm probably shooting heroin between my toes. Oh dear god at least I would get some sleep.)

If that doesn't do the trick, I'm taking a pill of some description. Antihistamines, or a little something something my mother left here when she was last visiting. The senior citizens get all the best drugs.


  1. Thought I'd seen every single episode of The Sopranos but can't remember Tony and the valerian tea - hope the old people's drugs do the trick.

  2. I hope your old people drugs work. Lack of sleep makes me crazy, and also potentially murderous.

  3. TNMA - It was after Christopher meets the lady estate agent at an NA meeting, and she reckons 10 valerian teabags will sort out her cold (or some such arrangement) and before you can say 'smackhead,' they're on the road to ruin.

    emmysuh - Many thanks. Yes, murderous is the word. Not feeling too bad today, but five broken hours of semi-sleep are still inadequate.

  4. as a fellow insomniac, i feel your pain. i go to the polish deli and pick up their relaxing drops which feature valerian, melissa and passion flower. they taste like dirt (which i like) and work hardly at all (which i don't). i do suppose they mellow me out a wee bit, but not enough to flick my broken 'off' switch.

    i now have a precious stash of sleeping pills which i take by the half, and only when absolutely necessary. they're called rhovane here, but god knows what they're called in your land. still, they're glorious: they put me to sleep and let me wake up refreshed, albeit with a bitter taste in my mouth, which, as i tend to be a bit bitter as it is, is hardly any news.

    i also hear meditation helps, but i have never been disciplined enough to do any mantra other than "cake...cake...cake" and that does nothing for my sleep but more than a little for my middle regions.