Ingratitude! thou marble-hearted fiend...

“Ingratitude is treason to mankind.” James Thomson

Tuesday 17 May 2011

How stuff is going around here.

Phew. Turns out what I really needed to make me feel whole again was a shakeup of my blog banner. That's better.

Hmm, it's been a bit of a mixed bag here at the Ingrate Homestead. I am mostly not leaving the house. That happens sometimes. In the wake of a spectacular griefy meltdown last week, I decided that it was time to visit the doctor, and came home with some magic beans, 20mg of which will be planted daily until the vine of good mental health shall burst forth (in approximately two weeks, though your mileage may vary).

I was pleased that the lovely man was able to accompany me to my appointment, to act as a witness. The doctor was chatty and nice but also laughed at odd times and then, at what I felt was the world's most inappropriate moment (you know, having just asked about suicidal thoughts), told a lengthy and completely irrelevant anecdote about his young daughter. I mean, sure, I have no doubt that she's snowflake-like in her perfect uniqueness, but context is everything. Also, that unexpected 45 minutes we spent in the waiting room while you presumably regaled each patient with similar anecdotes maybe put us in the wrong mood for your gentle humour.

In the meantime, I've kept the expectations low. I was required to cater a small dinner party for neighbours, on account of having invited them a long time ago but cancelling when my grandmother died and I had to fly to New Jersey for the funeral. Yes, it has taken almost two years to get the date back in the diary and, although my dog recently died, I couldn't bring myself to reschedule the dinner party because you know, damn, if I have to reschedule this thing again, who knows when my neighbours are going to stop causing the deaths of people I love? Their supernatural invitation-related wrath knows no bounds. Allegedly.

About three hours before they were due to arrive, the lovely man and I swept through the supermarket in less than half an hour, rushed home and while he raged though the house cleaning and moving clutter and mess up the stairs, I made chicken with lemon and olives. I forgot to add the olives, mostly everyone got quite drunk, and no one was hurt. My remaining loved ones can sleep soundly in their beds.

I don't know about you, but when I am feeling off-colour, I like to hunker down with something that is absolutely guaranteed to divert my attention from whatever is ailing me. This time I'm going for the entire 9 seasons of Seinfeld, plus a few choice weblogs. I open a blog to a random page in the morning, and read my way through a chunk of the archive throughout the day. Undoubtedly, stats will reveal my hours of lurking so let the record show that my intentions are entirely benign. If you find I've parked myself on your blog, it is likely that you are cheerful and soothing. Thanks for that.


  1. gah, it's unlikely to be mine, as i am many things but cheerful and soothing are not on that list.

    glad you are planting beans. i am not a fan of excessive bean planting in our society, but, having planted a few bean gardens myself in the past, i do know that there is a time and a place and you know best when it's time to get some professional gardening advice.

    as far as good stuff to keep yourself occupied, may i recommend "black books" the series most likely to result in snorts, inappropriate laughter and beverages being shot out one's nose?

    mmmm...chicken with lemon and olives and no olives sounds delish. i have a secret recipe for banana bread that a coworker once gave me that lacked bananas. i guess that was the secret.

    good to have you back!

  2. Thanks pc. I haven't yet mined your archives, but keep your eyes peeled. I'm working my way through the intertubes, so I may be a while. And thanks for the dvd recommendation. And I may need to see evidence of that recipe. What on earth was in there??

  3. Ugh, I am sorry you're feeling off-color. And off colour. I totally agree about the diverting television. Last year I got through the weeks leading up to my mastectomy by rewatching 30 Rock and Arrested Development. And do you like cheesy novels? I just started reading The Social Climber's Handbook. Maybe not cheesy but certainly light. Here's hoping for more cheer and peace of mind for you.

  4. I am glued to the sofa and have been force-fed QVC by my tv-shopping addict mother. Actually, it's quite good. The less said about Jeremy Kyle the better though *shudder*

    Hope you're feeling better soon and I must say, I DO like your blog banner :-)

    lotsaluv Ali x

  5. Thanks Becky. In addition to Seinfeld, I have the first two seasons of SNL, which is a fabulous time capsule. I'm rationing it, which is bonkers because hello? SNL goes to infinity. Would like to see more of 30 Rock, and will have a look at the book.

    Ali, I have great memories of sitting up in bed with my best friend after very late nights in Manhattan nightclubs, watching QVC and eating bagels. It's the way they model the hand jewellery - it does something to your brain. Don't look directly at the screen!!