I would like to declare publicly that if you were on your way to the park today with your darling little Yorkshire terrier and someone sounded their horn at you, it was not me. You were on the pavement, walking your dog, and I was in my car turning left into the park entrance (you remember, I was in the beige Saab), and I waited patiently for you to cross my path and walk into the park ahead of me. I was there to walk my dogs too, and I was in no hurry at all, and either way had no reason to beep at you. You were after all just exercising your right to use the pavement like any other pedestrian, and I was giving you the right of way, as endorsed by the Highway Code.
So despite everyone going about their business doing what it was their God-given right to do, and despite using my left indicator, I got a telling-off from the well-coifed and be-lipsticked woman behind me who took issue with something and beeped her horn. In my mind, she was cackling And your little dog too, AH-hahahaha but that's just conjecture.
In any case, you clearly thought I had beeped you and gave me the glaring stinkeye so hard I thought you might hurt yourself. I parked up and thought I might have a moment to stop you and clarify that I hadn't beeped you, but your dog finished peeing and you went on your way, stopping again briefly to give me another stabby look that said, perhaps, I have memorised your face and your registration plate.
So, sorry for that. That woman was a pain in the arse. I was just minding my own business and wanted to tell you it wasn't me, but you walked away too quickly and only your murderous look remained. In accordance with the Highway Code, I never use my horn aggressively.
The Purge (2017)
5 weeks ago