Ingratitude! thou marble-hearted fiend...

“Ingratitude is treason to mankind.” James Thomson

Tuesday 5 January 2010

So I said...

- ...I fancy something sweet. Is there anything sweet?

- There's Christmas cake.

- Yeah. I don't like Christmas cake.

- You could put some jam on it.

- And how would that make it better?

- .  ...well, I was just thinking about how you could make it different. Because you don't like Christmas cake.


  1. What exactly is Christmas cake? Is it like fruit cake? If it is, then I'm with you on this one.

  2. It's a foul thing, more brick than cake, made almost entirely of fruit and alcohol and covered in marzipan and a hard white sugar coating called royal icing. It's what you might eat after the apocalypse, when you need sugar for energy to dig your loved ones out of the burning rubble.

    It's similar if not identical to traditional wedding cake, so there you have two types of celebration ruined by one pudding. Surely a special occasion deserves whipped cream, chocolate and/or soft, light sponge, not something that only constitutes a treat in the context of a Dickensian subsistence diet.

    Nigella goes off piste with Tia Maria and chocolate, but she doesn't fool me: